only 15 months to go

We attended our first wedding event today. It was overwhelming. Actually, it wasn't the first, the first was the queen-mother to the rest of them, i.e. the Seattle Wedding Show, where thousands of brides-to-be and hundreds of grooms-to-be jostle for cake and queue endlessly for the rare savory-treat booth.
no, this was a different monster. we went to the lush Stimson-Green manor and were assailed in a very tasteful way by a cacophony of options. Wine, peach bellinis, finger food, dinner, cake, jewelry, weird rednecks, flowers - I really wanted a backwards-talking-midget to come in and complete the Lynchitude of it. Cause I am totally weirded out by this whole prospect of wedding. Not the prospect of being married, mind you, just the idea of a *wedding*. I've been to a scant 2 weddings as an invitee, and another 2 as a photographer, and i've got about as much idea of what I want to do for the reception as I've got about the inner workings of a car. Like, I know what the end result should be (People are happy, they are fed, we are wed :: the car goes, it takes you places) but I don't know how to get there.

This is not the droid that I am looking for in a reception site, however. It was weirdly disjointed, the food wasn't right, though there was an absolutely AWESOME quinoa salad, and the sommelier was kind of a dick. (if we recreate the quinoa salad, i'll post the recipe)
The ceilings were awesome (relief goddesses!), and the bedrooms upstairs were like the number one place to get caught fucking in public. The beds were servicable, the mirrors were EVERYWHERE, and the doors locked. The closets in each of the bedrooms were bigger than my office. The tub in the "men's bedroom" was bigger than my bathroom.

Just a clue to you all - if you're looking for free opulence, attend open houses for wedding receptions. The wine & vodka are free (I think they had beer too)- they want to get your judgment impaired so you don't think the prices are as offensive as they are, and the food is absolutely everywhere, with the catering staff cajoling you to try everything, and try it more than once.
This is going to freak me the fuck out.